i was at the mall with quinn and mike last week.
gap had this sale.
a really great sale.
i meandered through the racks of clothing, trying not to make eye contact with the jeans. i browsed the shirts, the shoes, the accessories. i finally caved and wandered over to the jeans, playing hard-to-get at first. hello motherload! i immediately and with urgency handed quinn over to mike and began pawing through the gads of jeans. ALL IN MY SIZE! this couldn't be possible. i NEVER find jeans in my size. the sales girl casually offers "anything on sale is an additional 50% off." what the bleepity-bleep! "are you serious?" i ask, "that is like practically free. you guys are like giving these jeans away!" now my pawing becomes even more frantic, as if at any moment the sales girl was going to renege on the deal if i don't move faster. i have now grabbed about five pairs of jeans when this young, adorable girl and her mother approach the rack. she is built exactly like me, just a good bit shorter. without so much as a word i thrust pair after pair into her hands, again exclaiming "this is ridiculous, they are like giving these jeans away!" i am not sure what she or her mom thought of me at the time, but they accepted each pair i offered. later in the dressing room i find the young girl and give her the jeans that i decide not to buy. she shyly says "i love you." i smile because i know how difficult it can be to find a good pair of jeans that fit right. her mom comes up and smiles, a look of appreciation in her eyes. i gather up my jeans and leave the dressing room to find mike and quinn. "you have a problem" mike says as i show him the jeans i am about to make my own. he is absolutely right. some people gamble, others drink. i buy jeans. and these jeans were practically free. i am talking $6, $9, $10. get to gap. you will be so bleepity-bleeping happy you did!
check out my new jeans below: